When profits slip, so does a banker's pants...

This is what banks will do to you when you overdraw from your checking account:

"Monmouth County authorities say a nude banker wearing a condom jumped out of the woods and tried to sexually assault an off-duty female police officer who was out for a jog.The woman grabbed a can of pepper spray and called police on her cell phone as she chased the man in Union Beach on Sunday. Authorities say the woman got the license plate number to a rental car, which authorities traced to John Kelly.The 39-year-old surrendered to police yesterday. Officials say the Jersey City resident is a vice president for Chase in New York.Kelly is charged with attempted sexual assault and lewdness." (May 27, 2005 - Union Beach, NJ - 1010 WINS)

Not content with higher fees, exorbitant credit card rates and three-day waiting periods for deposited checks to clear, bank executives are now encouraged to shed their clothes and go Tarzan on their suburban clientele. They wait until you exercise because they think you might be too tired to fight back (never mind the adrenaline rush already coursing through your blood in the middle of your 10K run). It adds a whole new meaning to "customer friendly banking."