In praise of Whitey, or why I like white shirts
This morning, I reached into my closet and discovered that I only had one shirt that did not resemble a crumpled up piece of kleenex: a white, oxford shirt. I wore it without a tie because if I had, people at the office would be asking if I had a job interview. The only other time I wore a tie to the office this whole year was when I was at a board meeting a few weeks ago. I looked pretty good then, but I didn't feel as nice as I did today. My white undershirt just peeked out where the collar opens, creating a relaxed look.
Why am I writing about a white shirt? Because it becomes apparent to me that when all else fails in a man's closet, it will save the day.
Going to a wedding? White shirt.
Baby shower? White shirt.
Interview? White shirt.
Pretending to be a doctor? White shirt.
Testifying before a judge? White shirt.
Don't believe its power? This morning, one of my clients came into my office. He said that I looked pretty good. I asked in what way. He said that I looked like I meant business. This made it easier for me to tell him what he needed to do for the rest of the day. Then I interviewed three applicants for tenancy at the residence. They all called me "sir." Usually the interviews are more informal, but their eyes were hypontized by the pure whiteness of my shirt. I could understand why the pope wore white...
Some may argue that the white shirt is bland. Old-fashioned. Miles away from cutting edge nouveau mode. And they are all correct. But it is also a permanent imprint in our minds of someone with some authority. Be sure to wear collared white shirts. The collarless ones are ridiculous looking and seem incomplete. I just mentioned the pope. He doesn't wear shirts. It's more of a tunic or vestment that he dons. I'm not talking about those.
Unfortunately, the white shirt doesn't make anyone younger than 17 look any older or more professional. For some reason, it makes them look even more juvenile. Alas, it cannot rescue all males. Just men.
By the way, it does help to groom as well. Comb your hair. Add a little gel or wax to conquer those cowlicks. A shaved head is even better. The shirt will create an austere, clean image that will intimidate friend and foe alike...for a moment. If you know how to take advantage of a moment, the white shirt can only help.
Why am I writing about a white shirt? Because it becomes apparent to me that when all else fails in a man's closet, it will save the day.
Going to a wedding? White shirt.
Baby shower? White shirt.
Interview? White shirt.
Pretending to be a doctor? White shirt.
Testifying before a judge? White shirt.
Don't believe its power? This morning, one of my clients came into my office. He said that I looked pretty good. I asked in what way. He said that I looked like I meant business. This made it easier for me to tell him what he needed to do for the rest of the day. Then I interviewed three applicants for tenancy at the residence. They all called me "sir." Usually the interviews are more informal, but their eyes were hypontized by the pure whiteness of my shirt. I could understand why the pope wore white...
Some may argue that the white shirt is bland. Old-fashioned. Miles away from cutting edge nouveau mode. And they are all correct. But it is also a permanent imprint in our minds of someone with some authority. Be sure to wear collared white shirts. The collarless ones are ridiculous looking and seem incomplete. I just mentioned the pope. He doesn't wear shirts. It's more of a tunic or vestment that he dons. I'm not talking about those.
Unfortunately, the white shirt doesn't make anyone younger than 17 look any older or more professional. For some reason, it makes them look even more juvenile. Alas, it cannot rescue all males. Just men.
By the way, it does help to groom as well. Comb your hair. Add a little gel or wax to conquer those cowlicks. A shaved head is even better. The shirt will create an austere, clean image that will intimidate friend and foe alike...for a moment. If you know how to take advantage of a moment, the white shirt can only help.
posted by Alan at 9:53 AM
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