Smoke signals, Or what color is my Conclave?
With the death of the old Pope, the Conclave of Cardinals will soon begin a search among their own ranks and vote for a new Pope. After each day's debate and vote jockeying, the public will be alerted by colored smoke as to the results of the proceedings:
White smoke = We have a new Pope. Let the kissing of his knuckles begin.
Black smoke = We are still without one. Please stop ringing the doorbell.
Red smoke = One or more Cardinals fell into the chimney. Send for bandages and morphine.
Pink smoke = Surf N' Turf all gone. We told you 118 platters weren't enough!
Purple smoke = The Kool Aid tastes funny. Getting sleepy.
Blue smoke = Ebola spreading out of control. Note to world: Monkey meat not so good after all.
Yellow smoke = Need more game pieces. Lost Professor Mustard card.
Orange smoke = To the Protestants of the world: You got served! Catholics are in the house again!
Green smoke = We, the Opus Dei, have seized control of the Papacy. To start, bring forth to us the pretty girls. Then the not so pretty ones. Then the boys. But only the pretty ones.
White smoke = We have a new Pope. Let the kissing of his knuckles begin.
Black smoke = We are still without one. Please stop ringing the doorbell.
Red smoke = One or more Cardinals fell into the chimney. Send for bandages and morphine.
Pink smoke = Surf N' Turf all gone. We told you 118 platters weren't enough!
Purple smoke = The Kool Aid tastes funny. Getting sleepy.
Blue smoke = Ebola spreading out of control. Note to world: Monkey meat not so good after all.
Yellow smoke = Need more game pieces. Lost Professor Mustard card.
Orange smoke = To the Protestants of the world: You got served! Catholics are in the house again!
Green smoke = We, the Opus Dei, have seized control of the Papacy. To start, bring forth to us the pretty girls. Then the not so pretty ones. Then the boys. But only the pretty ones.
posted by Alan at 2:22 PM
5 Comments:
Hey, you don't have to be among their ranks. You don't even have to be Catholic! Yes you too could be the next Pope!
-sean
Sean, isn't there a little of the Pope in all of us? In some way, I, too, am a frail, Polish, anti-communist with a homophobic, anti-abortion streak. Grrr...
That sounds to me like the end of a somewhat ribald and off-color joke.
Off-color[ed], yes! As in the colors of the smoke. Brilliant!
We've been working out a recipe for a new house brunch speciality-- Pope Benedict. If we go BBQ what colour smoke do you suggest we shoot for to fit in your smoky scheme of things?
P+N
(Mother Superior + Bishop of The Archdiocese of BK)
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