Welcome, Iraqifornia!

The White House has asked Congress for about $80 billion to fund the reconstruction of Iraq. With American forces committed to the area for decades to come, and considering thatCalifornia's state budget last year was about $78 billion, I propose that we welcome Iraq, or Iraqifornia, into the union. Their inclusion could actually help Americans face this new century in the following ways:

1. As a state with 25m people, Iraqifornia would be worth about 35 electoral college votes and, quite possibly, a new swing state. This means we won't have to hear about how important Ohio is anymore. With jobs bleeding out of their state, they still voted for Bush. Oh well. Besides, outside of an election year, when was the last time we needed anything from Ohio?

2. Like most southern and western states, Iraqifornia encourages their citizens to bear arms. In fact, access to better weapons and daily practice by Iraqifornians have brought a shameful light on Amercia's shortfall of quality militiamen and saboteurs.

3. With high infant mortality and low literacy rates, Iraqifornia could be considered the worst state in the union, meaning that Mississippi would no longer be the whipping boy for the other 49 states. Alas, Mississippi would still be the 50th worst state.

4. Iraqifornia's drinking water is polluted from damaged oil pipelines and the coalition's inability to protect water filtration systems from terrorists. In addition, its medical health system is near collapse from lack of resources. In light of future cuts in federal funding to the Environmental Protection Agency and health and hospital services, we Americans can turn to Iraqifornians and learn how to live as Third World citizens.