Friday, August 10, 2007

Uninusured & Underemployed cancer patient feels bad for Tony Snow

(AP) George Burke, a 56 year old former help desk technician for any number of American corporations having subcontracted their services overseas, felt really bad the other day when he saw Tony Snow being interviewed on NBC about his recurring colon cancer. Embolden by Mr. Snow's endurance, perserverance, and health insurance, Mr. Burke decided not to blame his own lack of access to medical care. "After all," he said, "I simply chose the wrong profession at the wrong time and got let go. Again. And again. Those Indians can just do a much better job than we can, and more efficiently. And cheaper. Much, much cheaper. Gosh, how do they do it?" Now sort of employed as a temp, he refuses to blame his employer for not working enough hours to qualify for a health plan in which he would have had to contribute bi-weekly for an HMO that his favorite doctor is not a member. Instead, he ignores the crippling pain in his own stomach and politely coughs in the other direction when in the company of his friends and family. "Now Tony, he's got it rough. Can you imagine the side effects from chemo? Having to feel the pity of all those White House reporters while they simulataneously trying to pick him apart during those daily press briefings? I was really moved when he started to cry. It reminds me of those nights when I find myself immobile from the tumor pressing against my solar plexus." Asked if he felt any resentment or jealously, Mr. Burke bravely answered: "Nah. Whatever happens, happens. In America, either you got health insurance, or you don't. I just gotta tough (cough, cough) it out."