I say, bring it on! English politics in America

Every once in a while, I get to catch “Question Time with the Prime Minister” on C-Span, a political bloodsport where the British Prime Minister regularly trades barbs with Members of Parliament. To most Americans, the idea of the President standing in the House of Representatives fielding questions and lobbing witty sarcasm with congressmen on television might be unseemly. But in Britain, the PM and the MPs don’t think it unnatural to boo, hiss, grunt, howl, and insult each other’s intelligence. The pressure is on the PM to prove his party’s worth, just as it is the shadow government’s responsibility to prove its mettle as the opposition and suggest better policy. Nevertheless, I do get a kick when the PM gets a good jab in on the Conservatives and the Labour MPs all go “Haaaa” or “Ooohhh” in unison. What I find most strange is that every time the PM ends his diatribe, he sits down and waits for the next MP to be called and deliver the next question. Then the PM gets back up on the podium and gives it another go, only to sit down again. That can’t be good for his back.

In America, the real battles between the two parties are done on political talk shows and radio programs, never face to face between the head of the government and the lower house. Have you ever watched the Senate and the House debate on C-Span? They’re so boring that they can hardly be considered real. The seats are never full, either. Someone speaks and the chamber empties out. The camera is there for the speaker’s constituents. Everyone has decided how they’re going to vote anyway. We all know who represents the President and who belongs to the opposition. The public fight is engaged through proxy.

It would be more honorable and entertaining to watch the President spar with the enemy in the open. It’s the old school yard adage: “If you’ve got something to say, say it to my face.” Well, in the House, you’ve got 435 people waiting to do it. In reality, though, half of them are on your side. And it would be nice to hear the feet of 230 allies drowning out the enemy.

When I went to junior high, this sort of back and forth would have been called a “rank out” or “ranking.” I was never good enough to try my hand. You see, I was nerdy looking, played in the school band and was part of a D&D group of equally awkward mates. So I lived vicariously through the other “rank out” masters. Boy, some of them were truly devastating. Believe it or not, we had a math teacher who actually had a rank out with another student. The teacher killed him and we all got a big laugh (except the kid, though, to his credit, he didn’t cry and no one tattled on anyone).

To be honest, I think the President would have to be a determined and skilled debater. It might be entertaining and sadistic to watch the President squirm if he were not, but I don’t want to see him humiliated either. He is the leader of the free (but still dangerous) world. Yet we all have to give it to the Brits: a people who have no say in selecting their leader came up with a way for him to prove himself week after week.