Karl Rove pees on America's leg and calls it rain. Conservatives begin lathering up...
(Excerpted from "Happy Conservative Times for Conservatives"- July 14, 2005)
Across the nation, conservative columnists and reporters have supported Karl Rove's assertions that he only informed Matthew Cooper of Time, Inc. of the CIA agent's name in order to steer Mr. Cooper away from printing a false story. Really, we must all stand and clap our hands in unison to recognize such chivalry in this age of ungentlemanly politics. It has not been determined yet by the independent (hee hee!) prosecutor if Mr. Rove has committed a crime or not, but we can hear the liberals and their Democratic ilk bay at the window like wild dogs lusting for our wonderful Mr. Rove's fleshy neck. What? Dare not they await the results of the independent (really!) prosecutor's report? After all, isn't that what fairness and democracy is all about? And don't we live in a land where those who break the law are innocent until proven guilty (in Guantanamo Bay, for instance, prisoners awaiting debriefings enjoy cucumber sandwiches during high tea and read Proust while snacking on those sublime madeleines. We think those liberals are much too unfair in calling the camp a hellhole... why, those bags over their heads are to help our visitors avoid sunburn!)?
After all, even Fox News, the great neutral Switzerland of news service, supports Mr. Rove. John Gibson, that terrific talking head who puts Edward R. Murrow's reporting to shame every single day, even advocated giving Mr. Rove a medal! A medal for helping a misguided reporter from discrediting his name... And our own President Bush continues to have confidence in his man. Why, if someone as intelligent, remarkable and wise as our President, whose principles are celestial planes higher than Aristotle's, can trust Mr. Rove at his word that he did nothing wrong, then we must fall in line and never, never question our great leader's wisdom.
On an unrelated matter, FEMA will be coming to every community to begin lobotomies for free! What advanced and merciful medical service this country provides for all its liberals and Democrats alike!
All hail the wonderous President and the sweet pearls of truth from Mr. Karl Rove's lips!
All hail!
karl rove
Across the nation, conservative columnists and reporters have supported Karl Rove's assertions that he only informed Matthew Cooper of Time, Inc. of the CIA agent's name in order to steer Mr. Cooper away from printing a false story. Really, we must all stand and clap our hands in unison to recognize such chivalry in this age of ungentlemanly politics. It has not been determined yet by the independent (hee hee!) prosecutor if Mr. Rove has committed a crime or not, but we can hear the liberals and their Democratic ilk bay at the window like wild dogs lusting for our wonderful Mr. Rove's fleshy neck. What? Dare not they await the results of the independent (really!) prosecutor's report? After all, isn't that what fairness and democracy is all about? And don't we live in a land where those who break the law are innocent until proven guilty (in Guantanamo Bay, for instance, prisoners awaiting debriefings enjoy cucumber sandwiches during high tea and read Proust while snacking on those sublime madeleines. We think those liberals are much too unfair in calling the camp a hellhole... why, those bags over their heads are to help our visitors avoid sunburn!)?
After all, even Fox News, the great neutral Switzerland of news service, supports Mr. Rove. John Gibson, that terrific talking head who puts Edward R. Murrow's reporting to shame every single day, even advocated giving Mr. Rove a medal! A medal for helping a misguided reporter from discrediting his name... And our own President Bush continues to have confidence in his man. Why, if someone as intelligent, remarkable and wise as our President, whose principles are celestial planes higher than Aristotle's, can trust Mr. Rove at his word that he did nothing wrong, then we must fall in line and never, never question our great leader's wisdom.
On an unrelated matter, FEMA will be coming to every community to begin lobotomies for free! What advanced and merciful medical service this country provides for all its liberals and Democrats alike!
All hail the wonderous President and the sweet pearls of truth from Mr. Karl Rove's lips!
All hail!
karl rove
posted by Alan at 10:39 AM
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