MacGyver 2005, staring Tom Cruise
Back in the 1980's, ABC had a show called MacGyver, starring Richard Dean Anderson as a Jack of All Trades adventurer who could do amazing things with household junk, like stopping a radioactive leak with a bar of chocolate. Sort of like the Jasper Johns of television. Anyway, this morning, Tom Cruise sat with Matt Lauer and had an interesting exchange on the topic of medications and how Cruise uses junk religion, something called Scientology, to cure all the ills of society. In Scientology, as far as I can bear to understand, followers are discouraged from taking medications for any reason, including mental illness. Why? Because Scientologists are crazy people. Only crazy people refuse medications that can heal them. Anyway, here's an excerpt from an AP report on the interview:
NEW YORK (AP) -- Tom Cruise criticized NBC "Today" show host Matt Lauer on Friday when Lauer mentioned Cruise's earlier criticism of Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants. Cruise told Lauer he didn't know what he was talking about. "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do," Cruise said. The interview became more heated when Lauer, who said he knew people who had been helped by the attention-deficit disorder drug Ritalin, asked Cruise about the effects of the drug. "Matt, Matt, you don't even - you're glib," Cruise responded. "You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, OK. That's what I've done... Scientology is something that you don't understand. It's like you could be a Christian and be a Scientologist. It is a religion. Because it's dealing with the spirit. You as a spiritual being. It gives you tools you can use to apply to your life."
In other words, Cruise the Scientologist is able to cut through all the research out there and basically conclude that only Scientology can cure your spirit and make you whole again. He has somehow found time in his busy life with Katie Holmes to read mountains of data and deliver us from the evils of medications. Terrific.
What else do you know besides psychiatry, Tom?
"Well, for one thing, the earth is shape like a penguin's ass. When it farts, we're all doomed. I've evaluated and read the research papers. That's what I've done."
That seems a bit far fetched, don't you think, Tom?
"You're glib. You don't even know what a penguin's ass feels or tastes like. You don't know the history of asses. I do."
But as a Buddhist, I find your religion to be both troubling and a con.
"Scientology is something you don't understand, man. It's like you could be a Kabbalist and be a Scientologist. It's like you could work from home stuffing envelopes and be a Scientologist. You could be a blind, mute retard and be a Scientologist."
I'm quite happy with my life.
"But Scientology gives you the tools you can use to apply to your life. Tools to take away your individuality, your ego, and your personality. Then all you'll need is a spaceship to take you to our planet where you'll be a living battery for our mechanical masters..."
Okay, Tom. Thanks for the tip. Now I'm just gonna walk over to there and kind of ignore you...
NEW YORK (AP) -- Tom Cruise criticized NBC "Today" show host Matt Lauer on Friday when Lauer mentioned Cruise's earlier criticism of Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants. Cruise told Lauer he didn't know what he was talking about. "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do," Cruise said. The interview became more heated when Lauer, who said he knew people who had been helped by the attention-deficit disorder drug Ritalin, asked Cruise about the effects of the drug. "Matt, Matt, you don't even - you're glib," Cruise responded. "You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, OK. That's what I've done... Scientology is something that you don't understand. It's like you could be a Christian and be a Scientologist. It is a religion. Because it's dealing with the spirit. You as a spiritual being. It gives you tools you can use to apply to your life."
In other words, Cruise the Scientologist is able to cut through all the research out there and basically conclude that only Scientology can cure your spirit and make you whole again. He has somehow found time in his busy life with Katie Holmes to read mountains of data and deliver us from the evils of medications. Terrific.
What else do you know besides psychiatry, Tom?
"Well, for one thing, the earth is shape like a penguin's ass. When it farts, we're all doomed. I've evaluated and read the research papers. That's what I've done."
That seems a bit far fetched, don't you think, Tom?
"You're glib. You don't even know what a penguin's ass feels or tastes like. You don't know the history of asses. I do."
But as a Buddhist, I find your religion to be both troubling and a con.
"Scientology is something you don't understand, man. It's like you could be a Kabbalist and be a Scientologist. It's like you could work from home stuffing envelopes and be a Scientologist. You could be a blind, mute retard and be a Scientologist."
I'm quite happy with my life.
"But Scientology gives you the tools you can use to apply to your life. Tools to take away your individuality, your ego, and your personality. Then all you'll need is a spaceship to take you to our planet where you'll be a living battery for our mechanical masters..."
Okay, Tom. Thanks for the tip. Now I'm just gonna walk over to there and kind of ignore you...
posted by Alan at 1:00 PM
6 Comments:
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